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Funny Jokes!

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by _The_Pumpkin_, Mar 8, 2017.

  1. _The_Pumpkin_

    _The_Pumpkin_
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    This a thread for good, appropriate, not corny jokes. Here's one to start ya'll off.

    The Americans had just landed on the moon, so the Politburo-the sort of governing body in the USSR- got together to see how they could 1 up them. One of them says, "Hmm. American's land on moon.. Hm! We will land on the Sun! That'll teach them!" He is met with applause. A technical supervisors in this meeting interjects, a bit meekly after the clapping dies down, "Ah but sir, it is very hot on the surface of the Sun." He replies, "You think we are stupid? We will land at night."
     
    #1 _The_Pumpkin_, Mar 8, 2017
    PotionOfHealing_ and engulfedleader2 like this.
  2. BLOCKYGIRL122

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    Pierino's mom tells him : -Go to the shop and get some ham-
    he goes with with his sister della and she gets run over by a car , he goes home and sais -e mortadella- ( its a tipe of ham ) . The mom said -I said ham , not mortadella ( morta means dead )
     
    #2 BLOCKYGIRL122, Mar 9, 2017
    PotionOfHealing_, Infehh and engulfedleader2 like this.
  3. Infehh

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    i have 85 chins
     
    #3 Infehh, Mar 9, 2017
  4. DestroyerBoy_

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    Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to
     
    #4 DestroyerBoy_, Mar 15, 2017
  5. Ultidesne

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    inf is weaboo this is not a joke pls spread the word
     
    #5 Ultidesne, Mar 16, 2017
    PotionOfHealing_ and _The_Pumpkin_ like this.
  6. Ultidesne

    Ultidesne
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    did you know that extreme weaboos are shown to have 85 chins.
     
    #6 Ultidesne, Mar 16, 2017
  7. Michaeldeboss

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    What do you call a Oprah Bread? Oprah loves bread!
     
    #7 Michaeldeboss, Apr 6, 2017
  8. ICryWhenISneeze

    ICryWhenISneeze
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    Why was the squid shop closed?
    Due to tentacle difficulties!

    no? Okay then..
    -walks off into the distance
     
    #8 ICryWhenISneeze, Apr 8, 2017
    Ultidesne and _The_Pumpkin_ like this.
  9. Ultidesne

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    I like European food so I decided to Russia over there because I was Hungary. After Czech'ing the menu I ordered Turkey. When I was Finnished I told the waiter 'Spain good but there is Norway I could eat another bite'.
     
    #9 Ultidesne, Apr 9, 2017
    MakerKitty, Bobob, _The_Pumpkin_ and 1 other person like this.
  10. _The_Pumpkin_

    _The_Pumpkin_
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    Perfect
     
    #10 _The_Pumpkin_, Apr 10, 2017
  11. Ibr_The0n3

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    Once upon a time someone put 2 tv's on top of each other.
    Why?
    To see the legs of the annoucers
     
    #11 Ibr_The0n3, Apr 13, 2017
  12. X1X_

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    Depends on what materials you're reacting. Potassium reacted with platinum creates a huge explosion, etc.
     
    #12 X1X_, Apr 13, 2017
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